I can. I can. I can.

you're looking skinny like a model

2007-10-19T02:22:06Z

fast tomorrow till sunday at midnight.

tomorrow, wed.

2007-10-09T04:05:09Z

breakfast:
tea-take thermos 0 cals
1/2 apple- 30 cals
take vitamin c pills

lunch:
need protien, so kashi 140 cals
other half apple-30 cals
water

dinner:
max 50 cals- maybe steam that broccoli, or maybe like 1/3 banana

wednesday:
Breakfast: tea
1/3 banana-50 cals

lunch:
Brocolli, some kind of protien-100 cals

dinner: 50 cals

fuck.

2007-10-01T01:03:48Z

I have never wanted a cigarette this bad. I hate them, but it feels like nothing else will do.

It's been a while. I've lost a bit, but not enough to cite. My goal keeps getting further away.

Like I said, Fuck.

I don't want to bitch, but things just aren't going as planned, you know?

skinnybumble247 @ 2007-08-28T23:32:00

2007-08-29T04:48:45Z

I love them. They're so good to me.

I want to be the perfect daughter, perfect friend, perfect girlfriend, have perfect grades, and a work ethic. Perfect teeth and pretty hair. Neat handwriting, flawless skin, dimples on my cheeks, a damn good attitude. I want to live up to your expectations. I want to live up to my own expectations. Perfect body. Workout schedule. Work my ass off every swim practice. Run. Perfect artwork. Perfect wardrobe. I want to put others before myself. I want to be complimentary. Give others something to smile about. Ruthless self control. I want to think about my words and actions. I want to do things I say I will do. Be able to convey my views to others eloquently and be sure of my own character and ideas. Good SATs. I want to be able to say what I feel with maturity and patience. Good college. Good life.

But what I don't want to be perfect. I want all these things, but I want imperfection. I want to be myself, but I want this too.

I'm rambling. I want to pass Physics tomorrow and be in control of my body. First things first.
But I still want to get out. Get away from paper and schedules and staplers and expectations and go find a meadow and my purpose. What's this all for anyway? Why paper clips? Why cars? Why concrete? Why times? Why patent leather briefcases and jumbo jets and linoleum and overhead lighting and carpet and chairs and paper bags and clothes and charts and keyboards and billboards? Why can't we all just be happy?

Why the fuck can't I sleep?

Do you realize?

2007-08-28T23:19:23Z

100 calories of yogurt only every morning until next tuesday at least.

I swear I'll do my best to comply..

2007-08-25T02:22:14Z

Well, now that I've failed my first plan magnificently, and school is already here,

PLAN B::

Saturday:0-200
Sunday: 600 to kickstart metabolism
Monday through Friday: 100 for breakfast, 100 for lunch at schoool.

If I get woozie: Maybe the 2 4 6 8. Who knows.

You've got a lure I can't deny; But. You've had your chance so say goodbye.
Say goodbye.

ug.

2007-08-24T18:40:44Z

Waiting for mommy and daddy to leave so I can purge this shit.

I wasn't going to eat lunch. So what do I do? I binge and eat lunch plus cake and a cookie. Disgrossting.

And I was doing so damn good too.

I must eat so many lemons, because I am so bitter.

2007-08-23T04:01:58Z

My boyfriend is almost less than me. That's not how it's supposed to be.

gee.

2007-08-20T01:40:49Z

132 lbs today. Hopefully I can reach 125 by next monday.

Is that even possible?

G'day Matesss

2007-08-20T01:31:13Z

Today was pretty good. Four day fast starts tomorrow, lovelies. Anyone else?

honey. when I look and you're not there

2007-08-15T03:28:21Z

I broke up with my boyfriend today.

It was the right thing to do.

But I feel like I broke my own heart.

day 1

2007-08-14T03:51:15Z

okay. so I ate 700 calories today. damn. Running tomorrow morning for sure.

Hold me like a bundle of actute angles, baby.

2007-08-13T17:12:59Z

I want collarbones and hipbones that are stuff of legend.

I want my arms to be works of art.

I want a damn good gap between my thighs.

I want gorgeous calves.

I want a sexy tummy.

I want my jawline to be a flawless sculpture.

I want cheekbones that are so fabulous they need rouge.

Who's with me, dammit?

Baby, Baby, Baby.

2007-08-13T17:01:40Z

Okay girls. This is my muse.

Would someone be a dear and check my journal and my diet plan and see if you think it'll work?

Lord, I hope so.

Bye, beautifuls.

Damn Speedos.

2007-08-13T07:09:29Z

15 pounds before swimming starts. I promise myself.

{August 14-18}
14-400 cal
15-300 cal
16-300 cal
17-400 cal
18-300 cal

130

{August 19-25}
19-200 cal
20-200 cal
21-0 cal
22-0 cal
23-0 cal
24-0 cal
25-200 cal

125

{August 26-September 1}
26-300 cal
27-400 cal
28-400 cal
29-400 cal
30-400 cal
31-400 cal
1-0 cal

121

{September 2-September 8}
2-0 cal
3-400 cal
4-300 cal
5-400 cal
6-300 cal
7-400 cal
8-0 cal

115 ??? I hope????

First day, babe.

2007-08-13T06:15:05Z

I need to get into a routine. I read something that said the body's weight fluctuates a ridiculous amount if you eat at different times during the day and sleep weird hours. So I'll wake up, run a mile. Eat about 20 calories of dry wheaties. Do yoga. Eat a cheese stick (60 calories for lunch). Stay busy till dinner. Eat as little as possible at family dinner and run another mile and do at least two hundred crunches before bed. I'll fast the week before school starts. Man, this is a bitch. But i can't just look ordinary anymore. Yeah I'm technically the right weight for my height but I want to make people wonder. I want to be gorgeous dammit.